Lunar Integration Ritual for Releasing Codependent Patterns.

No one on this planet is without trauma. It is not our fault that we experience them, but our ability to shift our perspective around them is what keeps us locked to the pain or released into the freedom of the wisdom our trauma provides.

In my childhood, the trauma I experienced caused me to form codependent relationships with those around me. And while this was necessary for me to survive the pain I experienced as Little Shanny, the patterns that developed around this coping skill I picked up has sometimes kept me from authentically connected and respectfully autonomous close relationships. These patterns surfaced recently in one of my closest relationships, calling me to do the deep inner work of facing where I have been co-creating dysfunction in my interactions. I am blessed that the other person is also doing their own version of the work, but even when this is not the case my work ripples.

To assist myself in the work of unraveling the patterns, I have turned to a personal ritual that I intuitively created for myself around the Lunar Cycle. I have found it to be very healing, so I am sharing it in case it inspires others to create their own. I began using the Moon’s rhythm in 2017, when I intuitively designed my own ritual around getting sober. It stuck, and I’ve been using the Moon as support for my healing.

For this ritual, I journaled about what I intended to release and what I intend to cultivate for myself and for my relationships. This was a free writing exercise, with no rules on what I could pour onto the page.

I followed this with a session of quiet meditation, seated in easy pose with gyan mudra listening to and chanting along with the mantra Sat Narayan. I love the recording by Simrit Kaur. Sat Narayan came to me for this ritual, I didn’t really understand its meaning before sitting with it. I only knew that I had been drawn to it before when in despair and confusion and it has provided me with peace. Here is a lovely article on it. After reading it, I immediately knew why it worked so well. Its association with water, clarity and sustenance was just what I needed.

I have realized that all of my codependent behaviors comes from the instability I experienced as a young one. I have also realized that I can now cultivate my own stability and sustenance from within, Kundalini Yoga has been the Practice that has worked for me in this loving work.

During my meditation, I saw myself and my sister as little children. We were in our Light Bodies and were joined by our mother, now passed but still with us, in her Light Body. I could feel the weight my childhood self had been carrying lifted by my mother’s presence and the unconditional Loving Presence I feel in my meditations. She led my little self and my sister’s little self away into the light, providing us with the loving guidance and stability she couldn’t provide all the time in life. I then saw that my sister and I as adults in our Light Bodies were walking beside the three figures, we were whole and autonomous but the unconditional love was palpable. This isn’t a vision I went into the Practice with, rather it is the clarity that arrived for me by sitting with mySelf.

In my experience, these moments of clarity are the guide post for the direction I need to move not necessarily an ending destination. It’s a Truth I get to carry away with me to remind myself of what’s truly real, and what is just the projection of a hurting heart. 

After this intensely clarifying meditation, I prepared myself a bath for both body and Spirit. 

I included the following:

1 tablespoon or so, dried organic Mugwort 

Mugwort has hormonal balancing benefits for female reproductive cycles, it is relaxing and in Magickal tradition it is used for Astral projection and lucid dreaming.

1 tablespoon or so, dried organic Chamomile

Chamomile is calming for the nerves and skin and makes a lovely tea as an accompaniment to the bath, or simply use a drop of Roman Chamomile essential oil (doTERRA only for safety) as a substitute for your tea.

1 teaspoon dried Jasmine Flower 

Jasmine is the flower of the Moon, I associate it with working with subconscious blocks and it is an oil to turn to for female hormonal balance and healing sexual trauma--work that is being called out of all of us as a collective right now regardless of personal experience. Do not use while pregnant, if you are pregnant it is a great idea to consult texts and professional resources to find the numerous safe options for herbs and oils during your baby’s time within.

I get my herbs from Mountain Rose Herbs. I don’t usually purchase oils from them, however, because I have found that doTERRA and Florihana have better quality essential oils. 

I place my herbs in a sisel sachet because I don’t like cleaning up a mess after a bath. It also allowed me to reserve the used herbs to return them to the Earth in my ritual on the Full Moon. I included a clear quartz point that I will be burying with the herbs as well, to carry the energy. On the edge of the tub I placed a grid of Rose Quartz and Clear Quartz, but you can use any crystals that resonate with you. (Selenite and related feldspar stones may be damaged by water, so I would avoid those.)

2 cups Epsom Salts 

The magnesium in the salts soothes tired muscles, which I always get when working with emotions and trauma. It is also great for clearing energy and it is a nice treat for plants as long as it is diluted first.

2 drops Roman Chamomile 

The Oil of Spiritual Purpose for all of the benefits I described above and for its beautiful aroma. It is sourced here in the US from a family farm that has been distilling for generations.

2 drops Ylang Ylang

The Oil of the Inner Child for Little Shanny and as a nerve tonic for its neuroprotective Beta-Caryophyllene which is why Ylang Ylang is so calming. doTERRA’s Ylang Ylang is sourced in Madagascar, where the highest quality oil can be obtained but it is also sourced with the highest integrity to the planet and the people creating it. This aspect makes it particularly useful for personal Spiritual Ritual.

2 drops Geranium

The Oil of Love and Trust which are at the core of codependency issues. It is also supportive for hormonal balance. Unlike other Geranium essential oils I have experienced, it is not sharp and offensive to my airways. It is a natural insect repellent, which I think lends it to helping to release negative patterns. If it banishes bugs it can banish negative perspectives of ourselves and others too.

2 drops Clary Sage

The Oil of Clarity which is what I was intending to create with my ritual. It has a cleansing aroma that awakens a Higher Perspective. It has the added benefit of balancing hormones as well, so it serves dual purpose for me. All types of sage have energetic clearing properties. I use this oil with Melaleuca to help clear things up and keep things positive in my space.

1 drop Helichrysum 

The Oil for Healing Pain Helichrysum means “sun gold” which I find appropriate for healing physical and emotional pain because when we bring our pain to the Light it dissipates. I experienced intense oil craving for this oil, so I have been carrying it in my Labradorite wallet with me everywhere. It is beneficial for the skin and can be used to help stop bleeding on minor cuts, which speaks to its powerful healing properties both physically and emotionally. I apply it over my heart and down the center of my face because it feels good.

I put all of the drops onto the salts before adding to the bath, it disperses the oils more thoroughly into the water. I also listened to my mantra while I soaked, allowing the sound current to permeate my body and the womb I had created for myself.

The aromatic benefits of this bath is indescribable. The combination of the florals was instantly transformative for me. This blend also makes a lovely diffuser blend, which I have been using periodically to reinforce my emotional integration.

After the bath, I collected one pint of water from the tub and put the herbs out to dry in preparation for the completion of my ritual.

For tonight’s Full Moon, I will be anointing my journal page with the oils above and then burning it in a metal bowl. I will bury the herbs from my bath, the remnants of my intention writings and the quartz crystal in our jasmine’s pot outside. I will then water the plant with my reserved bath water and then take another ritual bath, reserving one more pint. At the next New Moon, I will water my jasmine again as a symbol of completing my cleansing.

I will also continue to use my day to day tools of journaling, Kriyas, meditations, mantra music and Emotional Freedom Technique as needed as I continue the work. The ritual, after all, is a reminder of what I already know and a way for me to seal myself to my intention. I still get to do the work of healing along the way.

I created the ritual completely out of my own intuition and I invite you to create your own from yours too. None of it needs to be followed exactly or rigidly to be effective, follow your own inspiration. The real work of healing lies in being caring to ourselves and having the desire to see things in a more loving way, so any Practice that you use to do this will help regardless of the framework--be it in traditional faith Practices or in rituals of your own creation.

Much Love,

Shannon

None of this post is intended to cure or treat any disease or replace the care of mental and physical health professionals. Please take tender care of yourself with trusted support.